Next Hash #134 Saturday 12th October

HASH NO:  134
NAME: "Texas All Stars Hash"
DATE: Saturday 12th Oct 
TIME: 2pm START (you need to arrive before this – this is the run start time)

PLACE: Andres Bello 1555 (entre Manuel Montt y Pedro de Valdivia en Provi)
METRO:  Manuel Montt
HOSTS: "Octopusy” & “Splooge Bob Stain Pants"

HARES:    “Texas BJ Assacre” and  “Texas Horn Star”  
COST: $3.000
BRING: Meat/Salad/Booze to share for the after circle asado.     

 Also,  it is getting hot out now so don’t forget to bring hats and sunscreen!
There is a  pool also so folks can bring swimsuits to cool off!.

Hash #133 - The Liquor Liquidation Hash

Last Saturday we went back to the centro to KY Not's apartment for a nice run through the Santa Isabel and Barrio Italia area. After a brief warmup in the courtyard of the building, the Hashers took off on the trail set by hares KY Not and Cum Swim with Me.

As always, the trail was deemed "shitty" by several never-satisfied hashers. If memory serves, some complaints by seasoned hashers about the size of the flower blobs were met with insults from the virgins that even they had no trouble following them. So the quality of the trail is still in question.

The circle was held up in the quincho with a great view of the city.

Our good friends Moonjob and Cumming Up for Air led everyone in taking plenty of down downs. We also had the pleasure of indoctrinating and naming 4 new hashers. They were baptised in beer and smashed up potatoe chip pieces.

Southern Exposure

something Dancewhore (don't really remember what the full name was, but it was a good one!)

Last to Cum

and Veni V.D. Vici

The asado that ensued was also excellent. This was KY Not's last day in the building before moving, so she was practically begging everyone to drink her leftover bottles of liquor in addition to the normal Hash beer. Needless to say, the hashers were in good spirits that afternoon.

ON ON!

Por atrás pica el Hash, #132 Fonda style!

Many hours and maps later, hashers all around finally got to Prune's house, where our lovely hosts were waiting...

"El Camino" was short and sweet, but Acting Semen decided he had enough of trees and nature so...

 ...he thought it was a good idea to leave the top of the mountain like a pro, return to our fonda and drink some "healthy" juice and ice cream ( a.k.a Terremoto).

While everyone ran up th hill, Bi-Weekly Deposit practiced his "emboque" techniques,  demonstrating that with a little stick, great things can be done...

 Everyone kneeled down to receive all the experience and wisdom of Sir Lady Bug and Scooby my Doo who were celebrating 75 ( "Get a life") and 15 ( "You sitll have a life") hashes.

The moment has come, you can't hide anymore... welcome the new members: Home-schooled (Loving the lenguas), Macabeo for Tips ( In other words, Whipped!) and Pussy Wagon (Chicas magnet).

  Let the games begin!

 "Carrera de sacos"

   Instruction: Jump like hell.

 

"Silla Musical"

Instructions: Dance with your bootie, shake your butt, sit your ass, "Mueva el potito", grab a chair before someone elses tooshie gets there!

"Rayuela"

Instruction: Whatever Prune and Spank my Schnitzel's father does, you copy.

Yincana v/s Cueca ("Yincueca"), bring it!

Coming up for air giving cueca lessons like a true huaso, chileans take notes!

 

The Survivors...

 

Who are these beautiful women?, Who's the lucky guy?, Hot stuff! 

And this is the end ( for now), but we'll  be reporting soon from Hash Blog Central , until then...Burn baby burn...over and out.

Gettin' down... Phoenix-Style

We returned to old faithful, Bi-Weekly Deposit's home, (seriously is this guy not the best for allowing this nonsense to take place in his home over and over again?), where in the absence of some of our fearless leaders, Moon Job and Cummming Up For Air filled in flawlessly.  We circled up, anxiously awaiting our exotic-sounding "Phoenix-Style" run set by Prune and Cuban Nipple Crisis. 

We welcomed back some familiar faces.  As you can see, Viagra Vixen is beaming with a type of joy that only Father Abraham can bring... I mean he does have seven sons... 

Needless to say we got a very vague description of what Phoenix-Style would mean for us, and then we headed off. 

Expectations:

Reality:

This trail reeks of bullshit.

But, we remained in good spirits, as we chanted about teamwork, at least for awhile.

But seriously, the marks/instructions might as well have been written/explained in these:

Running six blocks only to find an X that shatters dreams resulted in in a (stay with me here) "candy cane-swirlysquare-halfdiamond-sunrise-sunrise-shutters bird-candycane-candycane sunrise-creepyeyeball-bird-halfdiamond-majesticlion". Seriously "doublezigzag-sunrise-triangleheadedsnake"???

This picture perfectly sums up the day:

The walkers just gave up and returned to the beer (walkers are so wise) and the runners ran close to 10K before it was all said and done.  In the post-run circle, Moon Job relished in his new found power and adequately doled out punishments to the hares.  Prune took it like a freaking champ.

We welcomed two new members into the Hash family.  Eventually the talks of U2 fanaticism and boinking Swedes lead to the introduction of Stroke My Bono and Nordic Nibbler.

Nothing says "Welcome to the family!!" like eggs, beer and flour atop your noggin.  

The next Hash with undoubtedly be "Santiago-Style" as we cueca-in the Fiestas Patrias.  Until then hashers, "wiltingflower-zigzag wiltingflower-zigzag!!"

Next Hash #131 - Saturday 31st August

NAME:  #131 -   Full Moon  Hash

HOST : Bi-Weekly Deposit

HARES: Cuban Nipple Crisis and associates

TIME : meet at 2pm for a 2.30pm start running.

ADDRESS: Simon Bolivar 5441 Nuñoa (it is house, not apartment)

BBQ : yes! Bring some food and extra drinks for when the hash beer runs out!

Cost : 3 luca for the hash

Metro : Simon Bolivar. (Map below)

 

 

The hills are alive... with the sound of... @)#)(*@!!

Despite the dropping temperatures, we all gathered at the Vitacura abode of Multiple Entry and Alex for the Viva Vitacura Hash, and by God, we viva-ed Vitacura.  Book of Whoremoans (how ridiculous is that... not Hormones, but WHOREMOANS... was their ever a Hash name more appropriate?) set off about 20 minutes before the rest of us to set his live trail of punishment.  Meanwhile, we welcomed some virgins, Octopussy showed us what flour looks like, and we tried to remember our right from our left during Father Abraham.  

Octopussy is active in the Flour Conservation Front, therefore marked the trail with thumbprints of flour.  The walkers appreciate and respect her cause, but punished her for getting them lost nonetheless.  

The runners were led easily into Book of Whoremoans' trap which turned out to be more of an obstacle course than a run.  

Up the stairs?  Eff that....

No Trespassing is Hash Speak for ON ON

less Sound of Music, more Sound of Explatives

Lying bastard.

And there was much rejoicing... 

Seriously... what a prick...

Here lies a hashed out hasher

SO... to recap.  There were 25 checkpoints, a barbed/wire fence, a hill of doom, taunting "so close" messages when we were not in fact "so close", a reminder that what goes up, must come down, through a CACTUS FOREST, more running, and a dead hasher.  What does that spell?  It spells Down Down... like 6 times.  

Back at the ranch, we corralled everyone into a tight, tight, indoor circle, where punishments were doled out for all the sins of the universe.

"You're just lucky I don't have a bag of unripened avocados to beat you with "

Seriously guys... new shoes?  When will we learn?  How many hashers know what a stinky/ass foot cocktail tastes like... waaaay too many.

Then Just Alex (our host), FINALLY got her name whilst kneeling in her own living room.  Welcome, officially, No Cuntry for Old Men, to the Hash Family.