Tuesday, 6 August 2013

The hills are alive... with the sound of... @)#)(*@!!

Despite the dropping temperatures, we all gathered at the Vitacura abode of Multiple Entry and Alex for the Viva Vitacura Hash, and by God, we viva-ed Vitacura.  Book of Whoremoans (how ridiculous is that... not Hormones, but WHOREMOANS... was their ever a Hash name more appropriate?) set off about 20 minutes before the rest of us to set his live trail of punishment.  Meanwhile, we welcomed some virgins, Octopussy showed us what flour looks like, and we tried to remember our right from our left during Father Abraham.  

Octopussy is active in the Flour Conservation Front, therefore marked the trail with thumbprints of flour.  The walkers appreciate and respect her cause, but punished her for getting them lost nonetheless.  

The runners were led easily into Book of Whoremoans' trap which turned out to be more of an obstacle course than a run.  

Up the stairs?  Eff that....
No Trespassing is Hash Speak for ON ON

less Sound of Music, more Sound of Explatives
Lying bastard.

And there was much rejoicing... 
Seriously... what a prick...
Here lies a hashed out hasher

SO... to recap.  There were 25 checkpoints, a barbed/wire fence, a hill of doom, taunting "so close" messages when we were not in fact "so close", a reminder that what goes up, must come down, through a CACTUS FOREST, more running, and a dead hasher.  What does that spell?  It spells Down Down... like 6 times.  

Back at the ranch, we corralled everyone into a tight, tight, indoor circle, where punishments were doled out for all the sins of the universe.

"You're just lucky I don't have a bag of unripened avocados to beat you with "

Seriously guys... new shoes?  When will we learn?  How many hashers know what a stinky/ass foot cocktail tastes like... waaaay too many.

Then Just Alex (our host), FINALLY got her name whilst kneeling in her own living room.  Welcome, officially, No Cuntry for Old Men, to the Hash Family.