Friday, 13 March 2015

Mismanagement Committee Positions: 2015

It's Erection Time!

Saturday March 28th will be the annual general piss-up. This is the moment that will decide the fortunes of the Hash for the coming year. It's your chance to give back to the Hashing community by taking on one of the various jobs that make a Hash a Hash. The more people that volunteer, compete, vie and duel for these positions, the easier each job is - so think of how much you love driving beer around, have a look through the list, and step forward.

Stepping forward, by the way, will involve sending an email to the Hash, with the subject-line "Erections", stating that you would be interested in a given position. Think of it as a little test of your mettle!

Specific positions are:
  • Hash Geek - Takes care of keeping the password vault, keeping healthy web-assets, and making sure events are announced in a coordinated manner across the various digital venues.
  • Hash Flash - Take pretty pictures of people in the throes of our pagan ritual!
  • Hash Trash - Write some libel and slander once in a while, telling the tales of daring doo...
  • Hash Cash / Hash Stats - You really need a mattress with an underside for this one, an ability to count to several thousand, and subtract (you would be amazed...), and the blessing of the current mismanagement committee. Keep a little baggie with the hash cash, and do the occasional transfer/reimbursement/scolding...
  • Songmeister - Help pass on the lore of the Hash by teaching bad students new songs every once in a while...
  • ShutterUpper - Get mad at everybody (or at least act it) during the circle, leaving the person at the center to concentrate on the agenda rather than the bad apples.
  • Hasher Herder -  Hasher herding is an important job on trips and away-hashes. You would not believe how hard a simple thing like getting on a bus can be when folks are moved by the spirit! Take attendance, keep an accurate head-count, and report on how many hashers we're about to lose, hopefully before the bus takes off!
  • Grubmeister - Wrangle food, organize food, make food appear to keep the Hashers from drinking on empty stomachs! Pipe up & help organize coming Hashes by figuring out what people can eat!
  • Pecker Inspector - Ewww - it's just like it sounds, and there's this guy who seems to love the job...
  • Hare Raiser - Gently practice your Machiavelli, helping folks in advanced stages of largesse volunteer their yachts and summer palaces for hashing activities.
  • Hasherdasher - Have a ready supply of patches, t-shirts, knick-knacks, and tchotchkes for spies and locals alike to do their in-flight shopping. This involves driving the merchandising to a degree, and having a car, cargo-bike, or masochistic desire to try & schlep it all in taxis or what-have-you.
  • Beermeister - Without a doubt the most important job in the Hash - witness the untouchable and legendary status of Sir Biweekly Deposit - larger than life; larger than his t-shirt - you have to have a car, and some serious commitment for this one. The Beermeister falls through & things get ugly real fast...
  • Religious Adviser - It's a religious position and we don't prosecute - need I say more? Burn witches at the stake, convert infidels and give them names, spill a little beer here & there.
  • Grand Master - Basically, the Grand Master does nothing, and spends a lot of time doing it. Be the focus of idling complainers, and keep changing stuff so it looks like nothing's changed! Think stuff up for the MMC to do, and then do it yourself! It's a self-starter's dream-job.
*For all positions, you're expected to be a responsible adult. That means first & foremost taking responsibility for your part. If you can't do it because you're traveling, or too drunk - find an alternate before you pass out. Don't hang it all on the next hasher up the ladder. That's not proper hash behavior.
Don't forget: erections happen on March 28th, and incumbents statistically have the best chances, so start your mud-slinging now if you want one of these posts! Dare to dream. Now you, too could be one of the beautiful people.

Thursday, 12 March 2015

Hash #170 - St. Patrick's Day Hash

As is our tradition, we solemnly pay homage to the death of St Patrick, which happened for sure on March 17th but it's uncertain what year in the second half of the 5th century!

But we are not a dour bunch, and St. Patrick's Day celebrations are a bit of a must, so even though it's the anniversary of his death, totally made up, and roughly 1500 years ago, we celebrate!
OK - maybe we still don't have a pedal-powered stripper-pole, but we can always dream! The great thing about it is that it's a celebration, pure & simple & very, very green.
Yes. There will be green beer. A keg of it, to be exact, and we're celebrating at Mickey Gin's fine Irish establishment, Flannery's Irish Geo-pub, where karaoke stars are born!

Bring your finest, most ridiculous green attire to show your support for celebrating while running.

What is going to happen is that we're going to go for a run, and then we're going to down a keg of green beer. Special dispensations apply on this day because it's such an important milestone in human civilization, so wear green! Hasherdashery is required as usual, but if you're green, we look the other way. It's sort of like green-screening!
So... everybody loves a parade. We're having one of those too.
...and Psy is going to be there:
along with Rob Ford as Grand Marshal:
and possibly a bit of free beer and false advertising. But there will be attempts, doubtless, at River-Dancing
like may or may not have happened at the last St Patrick's Day Parade Hash, which we can't forget soon enough.

So join us for a trail (hared by Noname LeJyBy, to be named at this very hash!) and indulge in the most Pythonesque après-ski  in town (hosted by a real live Irish barkeep).

The deets:

  • What: Hash #170:
  • When: Saturday March 14th, 2pm. (beat-the-heat time)
  • Where: Flannery's Irish Geo-pub.
  • How Much: 6000CLP for the Hash. Yes - it's more expensive than usual, but it's a whole keg, which will be divided among all comers (and hashers are all comers).
What to Bring:
  • green - green hats, green clothes, green skin, green smiles
  • cash
  • your best & most lurid stories about LeJyBy
** For the uninitiated
We are a drinking group with a running problem. If that sounds a little de trop, don't worry. It is. We follow hashing traditions, singing songs, drinking beer, and following silly rules. We start with a ~7k run / 4k walk (your choice), then do our circly ritual (which may or may not happen this time), sing some ribald songs, and finally we relax, and eat a little. This time we're expecting 15-20 hashers. Come check it out, or join us next time, in 2 weeks.

Your faithful GM,
Multiple Entry