Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Hash #163 - Once in a Brew Moon...

By all accounts (mostly just this one so far...) it was a lovely Hash. Although we were expecting only 10 to 15 hashers, the ranks swelled to 24 as the hour arrived! We circled outside the front door to get the ball rolling, and did our traditional Father Abraham warmup. Spoodgebob Stainpants, our Religious Adviser, was just back from a tour of Asia and the Sub-continent where he apparently was attacked by hostiles that gnawed his kneecaps off, because he was on crutches, tranqued-out, and failed miserably at the leg part of the warmup.

It looked like he didn't even try, and as the alcohol mixed with the tranqs a bit later, Stainpants slipped into a powerful new reality, kissed the girls, sang some songs, and made fun of televangelists by casting off his crutches and doing a little dance. Chances are he has no memory of all this acting out, so if you see him, mum's the word!

So our gracious host No-name Lorena and Spank My Schnitzel briefly explained the trail, which meandered beautifully around Barrio Brasil, and we were off and running, and walking, and hobbling like a horde from a Jodorowski movie... As your Grand Master it is my responsibility to be kind to those less fortunate, so I just walked the ailing Stainpants straight to the beer-stop, where we warmed up the seating and alerted the locals to the impending arrival of our little posse while being very very quiet about the soccer game in progress. Chilenos take their soccer fairly seriously, so any innocent off-hand remark indicating a lack of clear preference for the team favored at the bar could easily have resulted in scuffles, or worse.
It's a beautiful thing, a bunch of Hashers close to brew...
The beer-stop was brilliant, with delicious amber craft beer flowing freely along with a pitcher of amber ale to cleanse the palate, and the temperature a placid 76. Good work, hares! This is in no small part why such a well-rounded and low score was administered for your efforts. One of those perfect early summer afternoons. Of course we were outside, and that carries some risks. Here we can see that NoName JyBy, on the far right of the photograph, has been victimized by a street urchin that took his beer and put a clown-nose on him for good measure. Note his hand, still holding the now-missing beer. After the beer stop it all gets a little fuzzy...

We made our way back to our labyrinthine locale, where finding the quincho quickly became an entertaining exercise in reconnoitering, as there were three buildings, two elevator rides, and a third-floor courtyard in between, all thrown in for good measure between the front door and our beloved brew.
Innuendo at every turn while navigating the maze...

 Once in position, we circled up and introduced the virgins. Welcome, Cheryl, Daniel, Joanne, Mariangles, Nerio, and Shari! With so many virgins and a full moon, it's a wonder we weren't overrun by vampires! Nice to see Aussies & Venezolanos back in the fold, too!

In any case, we immediately set Fuck Off! to the task of joining in every down-down. You see, gentle readers, Fuck Off! is leaving us, and this is the gentler side of the punishments a hash must properly administer to those who dare leave the fold. Fuck Off is fucking off to Milan, Italy, where she's been promised an undergrment modeling contract by these guys who must be very rich because they wore lots of heavy gold jewelry. Seriously: safe travels and enjoy the scenery. No Cuntry for Old Men's 30th anniversaroid came up, as well as many, many sins from the trail, where it appears virtually every hasher failed the physical trial! (Buck up people. These are going to get tougher before they get easier again!) and so, many down-downs were decreed by Stainpants and administered by our gracious piss-pourer, No Cuntry.

Once the circle was fucked Shits & Swallows took an early leave to prepare for her performance (yes - she's that kind of girl), and the rest of us got around to eating some Choripan. The pot-luck pickings were quite thin, but I blame myself for not being more emphatic about the collaborative nature of the hash. Just so there's no doubt: bring stuff to share at the Hash - this means you.

It's always a good idea and makes for a much more entertaining on-after. Canapes and side-dishes are always welcome, and additional grill items are always appreciated and make Hashers and dogs like you better.

So we close it up once more for two weeks until Hash 164 - The Christmas Beach Hash! See you there.

-Your friendly local GM,
Multiple Entry

On on!
==========================Original Announcement======================

December 6 - so many things to celebrate, so few brews... For starters, it's a full moon, and our first bonified starting-after-the-worst-heat-of-the-day, 5pm hash! Then, there's Finland declaring its independence from Russia in 1917, and Joseph Rainey (SC) becoming the very first black Congressman in 1870, 5 years to the day after the ratification of the 13th amendment, Pablo Neruda marrying someone in Batavia on the same day in 1930... yadda yadda. You would think Dec 6 fell on a full moon all those years. But then there was the Free Concert at Altamont in 1969, which basically looked like a Hash, but with 300,000 people...
Well... you know how the East Bay can be. Anyway, it was such a mess that the Dead, who basically organized the thing, didn't even bother to show up. 4 people died at that concert, and another 4 were born. - OK - maybe it was a little more disorganized than a Hash....

Celebrating the 45th anniversary of the Altamont Free Concert, which featured Santana, The Flying Burrito Brothers, Jefferson Airplane, and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, and the Rolling Stones! (Unfortunately, the ones among those still living did not answer our invitation to the hash)

Come out for a run, possibly a craft-brewed beer-stop, courtesy of our host, No-name Lorena, and our hares, No-name Lorena and Spank My Schnitzel, and a little beer & choripan afterwards...

..Here's the deets:
  • What: Hash #163: Once in a Brew Moon
  • When: Saturday December 6th at 5pm
  • Where: Huérfanos 1490
  • How Much: $4.000 gets you in, gets you beer and choripan, plus a special surprise!
  • What to Bring:
    - extra food (cocktail food, food for vegetarians, anything that strikes your fancy)
    - extra libations (particularly if you're of the non-alcoholic persuasion: "
    We don't judge.")
  • How to find it: Get your directions from Google Maps here. It's quite accessible.

There's details on Meetup, if you need to direct folks there..

** For the uninitiated:
We are a drinking group with a running problem. If that sounds a little de trop, don't worry. It is. We follow hashing traditions, singing songs, drinking beer, and following silly rules. We start with a ~7k run / 4k walk (your choice), then do our circly ritual, sing some ribald songs, and finally we relax, and eat a little. This time we're expecting 10-25 hashers. Come check it out, or join us next time, on December 20, when our traditional luxury beach retreat and Secret Santa extravaganza basically guarantees everybody
gets out nice &