We Declare Independence From Sobriety!

Oh say can you swig
From the beer's foaming head?
What so proudly we chug,
'Til we fall into bed.

This past Saturday was Hash #127, the Independence Day Hash, hosted by Billy Scroat Gruff near the Santa Isabel metro stop.  It was a chilly day, but not a terrible one for hashing.  No day is a terrible day for hashing after all...

The runners convened around 2pm, sang a rousing rendition of Father Abraham, and dashed off into the cloudy, dog poo-strewn streets of Santiago Centro.

clapping is the BEST

Hares Billy Scroat Gruff, Easy As 123, and No-Name-Virgin-Charlie led the hashers on a heart-pumping hike up Santa Lucia, through Parque Forrestal and back through the Baquedano/Bustamante area. 

I'm Manuel Baquedano, and I approved this message.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Easy As 123 served as the Grand Master for the afternoon, with Sump Pump resuming his previous post as Religious Advisor.  

This picture represents much of my experience as an English Teacher.   Including the beer. 

Gotta fart gotta fart gotta fart 

ohhhhhyeaeaaaaahhhhh that's a winner

Something...smells...familiar...

I will now draw your attention to our host, who seems to be singing an 80's rock ballad by himself in the next series of photos.

"Don't stop, belieeeeevin'"

"hold on to that feeeeeelin, ohh"

The highlight of the day was most definitely the naming.  Jessica and Jeff let loose in oh, so many ways.

"I think we should take our shirts off!"

"I was bisexual in college!"

Jeff: "ok honey, I think that's plenty"
Jessica: "no they need more material!"

"We've had orgies, and I like anime porn, especially with octopi!"

That. was. plenty.

Please welcome Splooge Bob Stain Pants and Octopussy to the Hash Family.

Finally, did you see Sump Pump's baller new hoodie?

stylish from behind.  tee hee double entendre 

That's right!  If you ordered a Hash Hoodie they are printed and ready for pickup!  Come to the next Hash, or email us to come get yours!  

Next time we will be celebrating Christmas in July at the Black Rock Pub...get your ugly sweater on on!

Seaside Shenanigans

Hash #126 took us yet again to the beautiful beach town of El Quisco for a lovely day of smog-free debauchery.

We loaded up our "Party Bus" at the crack of 11... err noon (thanks to a few gringos who have overly assimilated to Chilean culture), and made our way to Sump Pump's fantastic seaside abode.  Sir Sump Pump, Finger in the Dyke, and their army of dogs set a Shitty Trail  winding through the hills (damn the hills), rocks and more hill type things.  During the chalk talk, this puppy (who still needs a home I understand) demonstrated less about how to follow the trail and more about how to eat it.

Bone Her Parts is both bored and appalled

The runner's, led by Moon Job and Book of Hormones, lost the trail within the first ten minutes, found it, and then realized that seagull shit is not in fact flour and that we were in fact still lost.  Eventually, we figured it out and were on our way....

Flour or Poo?  I'm not gonna taste it... you taste it...

To the Beer Stop.....

Beer is SOO near.

Or not... FAKE OUT.... sad hashers

"I long to be.... Close... to ... Brew..."

When we arrived at the actual beer stop, there was much rejoicing, multiple thumbs ups, and some interpretive dance lead by Turtlehead.

Back at home, we began what would turn into the World's Longest Circle.  Cummming Up for Air acted as GM while Sir Sump Pump resumed his role as Religious Advisor in French Polisher's absence.  To celebrate both Sir Ladybug's 70 th Hash (Get a life.. Get a life... Get a life life life) and Bone Her Parts' final Hash before returning to the Sunshine State, both of them earned VIP seats in the mushpot of the circle, along with down downs to accompany every virgin, sinner and loudmouth that earned one throughout the night.  

Before long, the circle slipped into it's usual unruly state of disaster, and Turtlehead took on the all important job of the guy that yells variations of "Shut the Fuck up" every few seconds.  Side note, remember the last time we were here and Turtlehead did this:

We like you better like this... Fully clothed and in this country.

Seriously, this circle was just chalked full of stupid, but then in a moment of clarity, someone (or a lot of someones) realized that Basani was wearing new shoes.  

SHAME!!!!

And then somehow it was decreed that her punishment would be doled out to our VIPs.  Ladybug took it (or wore it) like a champ, while Bone Her Parts gave everyone the finger with her mind.

Things continued to unravel... 

And meanwhile.... 

When it finally came time for the namings, one of the three, in a true display of hash appropriate behavior was nowhere to be found (and was later carried onto the bus).  Sump Pump shared his stage with Book of Hormones, and after a few stories that somehow all seemed to center around sexual sadness in cold weather/water, we officially welcomed Frozen Nuts and Thermal Do Me into the Hash family.  

Last chance to back out...

Chile's finest

              

Afterwards, there were plenty more shenanigans, and the stories about those "yet to be named" flowed like... well... beer.  

Don't miss Hash #127 as we celebrate "Merica at the Independence day Hash in Centro.  July 6th.