Tuesday, 27 January 2015

Hash #167 - Back in Black!

It was inspirational.
Such a nice, tranquil courtyard at The Black Rock, suitable for the opening scenes of a Parisian thriller, where everyone is just enjoying the sun with cosmopolitan smugness, oblivious to the tempest about to unfold!

Usually, people forgo telling you to keep calm unless there's something going on that fully merits blowing a gasket. Here, Sir Turtle-Head, wearing a 'Keep Calm' shirt, is practicing his new gesture. He's learning to say 'hello' in Swiss German. This quickly spiraled out of control, and led to some misunderstandings, a broken heart, and a small pregnancy scare. In the end, it all turned out just fine, though.

Most hashers mingle oblivious to the treachery underfoot while our intrepid Hash Flash, Maxipad (with Wings) - locates the first hidden camera.


 But it would seem there's not that much to worry about: the spy running the video-surveillance operation is clearly starting to feel the effects of the mirth, as we can see from the deteriorating focus. Here, Eat my Whalie is once again defending her position that baby whales are the tastiest meat and should be enjoyed in that capacity at every available opportunity, preferably eaten alive, like oysters.

 These guys showed up with an attitude, but once they got into the swing of things, they were as much fun as anyone else. They couldn't help it. They tried to look menacing, but Dick So Soft lost his focus when he noticed Multiple Entry's untied shoelace.


 Oh, it's on, motherfuckers! Maxipad(with Wings) has found yet another spy-camera, and now he's on the trail. He won't rest until he gets to the bottom of this! Notice Lame Judy Stank looking a little guilty and clutching a second beer in her wanking hand as the intrusion is discovered. The guys in sunglasses are trying to blend in and get close, seconds before the arrest. This may be a clue.


As we prepared for the circle, Dick So Soft demonstrated the strength of his Jedi powers by drinking and getting refills with his eyes closed. His new theory was that if you don't see the beer, it can't make you drunk. Shits & Swallows is scouting for another girl to complete the picture with that cup. Vini V.D. is intrigued and thinks he might be a lesbian, while Eat My Whalie, from a long tradition of pagan rituals, bows down to the unfolding bacchanal and is sure that if she'd only made it through book 4 of Knausgård, she would have been better prepared for what's developing here. 

You may remember that at the Christmas Beach Hash Bi-weekly Deposit suffered a serious injury in the line of duty, run-over by no less than a cart laden with the very fuel of the Hash, brew.

 Well, Service Guarantees Citizenship! Congratulations, Sir Bi-weekly Deposit! In a poignant but comfortably brief ceremony, Spoodgebob Stainpants conferred the title of Knight of the Hash on Bi-weekly Deposit for either valor or clumsiness in the line of duty - we're never sure about this nuance in the hash - by inducting him into the Order of the Purple Shart.



 Some time passed, some brew flowed, and the next thing you know it's turning into the Back in Blackout Hash... All in good fun & among friends; no harm, no foul. 


 Here we have Likk'Em, our spy from Switzerland, living up to his name. NoName Cicilia tries to join in as Maxipad (with Wings) protects her virtue at the last moment!


Noname Daniel is pretty damned proud that he finally managed to get his sunglasses to stay in his shirt like that. After practicing for a while and finally getting it down, Sir Turtle head demonstrates how to say 'hello' in Swiss German, as taught to him earlier by Likk'em. Maxipad(with Wings) is just making sure everything is under control.

Bushy Pussy has infinite patience. That is all.

Spoodgebob Stainpants is looking a little peeked after performing that intense ceremony bestowing the Purple Shart on Sir Bi-weekly Deposit, but he's playing it cool. He knows that if Sleeping Beauty, Maxipad(with Wings), or especially Eat my Whalie smell blood in the water, it could all be over in mere seconds.


On the left, Mark and MariCarmen, two of our virgins, are holding up really well and starting to see the humor in this, while Strip, Minor!, Multiple Entry, Maxipad(with Wings), and No Cuntry for Old Men are mostly confused about whether to do a duckface (seriously or ironically), smile, or look 'bad-ass' for the picture. Takes all kinds...

All in all, it was a fine hash. We made some new friends, had some great conversations, and learned a few things along the way. Sir Turtle-Head learned to wave hello in Swiss, and Bi-weekly Deposit became Sir Bi-weekly Deposit.

Thanks again to everyone who helped pull this off! Maxipad(with Wings) really put the elbow-grease back into Hash-Flashing (and took some great pictures, too). Bushy Pussy poured piss again. A saint. Lame Judy Stank, but she laid a great trail and told a wonderful story about discovering lighters in the strangest places. The Black Rock was perfect. Shane and Sol were kind enough to make us a great menu of gas-grilled organic South American free-range mountain chicken with fair-trade domesticated Thai Jasmine rice imported via reed-rafts, and a garden-fresh salad of autochthonous berries on a bed of wild greens, in addition to pouring a great deal of delicious Stella and putting up with our slurred off-key shenanigans for many hours. It didn't even seem to bother them, or Hugo, in the least!

Stay tuned. Summertime is not over and there might be some more fun stuff coming up!

-Your friendly local GM,
Multiple Entry

On on!

===============================Original Announcement========================

 Anyone up for a pint with Angus?

It's been a busy week in Australia, what with Foundation Day, Anniversary Day, Survival Day, Invasion Day, and Day of Mourning celebrations - and that was just Monday!

Saturday, January 31st come celebrate the return of the Hash to the Black Rock, the finest Australian pub in Santiago. Join us for a trail (hared by a real live Australian) and indulge in the most Pythonesque après-ski  in town (hosted by a real live Australian). Hell, if you can down it with the best of them, one day you could be Prime Minister!

The deets:


  • What: Hash #167:
  • When: Saturday January 31st, 2pm. (beat-the-heat time)
  • Where: The Black Rock Pub.
  • How Much: 5000CLP for the Hash. There may be a special, attractively priced Hasher's menu offered in the 3000-3500CLP range.
What to Bring:
  • sunscreen
  • a hat
  • cash
  • tall stories about your time eating snakes in the Outback.
** For the uninitiated
We are a drinking group with a running problem. If that sounds a little de trop, don't worry. It is. We follow hashing traditions, singing songs, drinking beer, and following silly rules. We start with a ~7k run / 4k walk (your choice), then do our circly ritual (which may or may not happen this time), sing some ribald songs, and finally we relax, and eat a little. This time we're expecting 8-12 hashers. Come check it out, or join us next time, in 2 weeks on Valentine's Day.




Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Hash #166 - The ArtIsAnal Beer Hash...


Hash #166 - ArtIsAnal Beer Hash:

There's no denying that, as science teaches us, alcohol is a solution. A small but dedicated group of hashers met up at the gate on Saturday, but the gate was not the entrance. After acting like it was an issue for a few minutes, the brave group decided that the full uphill 100m walk from the main entrance to the Bierfest entrance was pretty much the same as a 7k run, so that's what we did.

At the gate we gladly ponied up 6,500 CLP for the privilege of entering the premises to spend money on beer.  Which we did. In copious amounts. But the strange and unusual part about this is that, in that crowd, we, the hashers, were the moderates, the teetotalers, as it were, because these people were here to slake a neverending thirst.

Selfe-sticks were, of course, the faddish item of the day, and people were wielding them with varying degrees of half-mind pride and skill.


 It wasn't long before the spirit of comradeship wafted over the lot like a San Francisco summer fog, and everyone was getting in on the selfie action, stick or no.
 In short order, hashers started acting all lovey-dubby, and cooing sweet nothings at each other, while, of course, sucking down beers faster than a '50s Cadillac pulling a trailer up a mountain.
 Some hashers even seemed alarmed. There's no telling whether it was because there was not enough beer, or too much. Others took it all more in stride...
 Pretty soon, things were getting awesome, or so it seemed. Beer may have had something to do with it, but everyone clearly thought the bass player was all-right.
Revelers with very small green hats jumped up and started dancing...
 ...seems everyone had had a couple by now.
 ..and that musician was even getting his hair to do the rock 'n roll swing
 "I love you, buddy"
 ...flying chairs - a sure sign of excessive consumption
 ...and people in big-ass sombreros cracking up at the flying chairs floating past.
 We even saw a selfie-stick accident or two. Those things can seem unwieldy after a few.
 but it was all taken in the proper spirit, as a joke and nothing more.

Final analysis: it was fun attending a promotional event to sample several craft beers simultaneously. As can be expected, edginess in a conformist culture amounts to copying that and not this, and the beers on offer reflected this instinct to comply. There were reds, pale ales, and stouts without a great deal of variation among them. There was a good deal of raspberry. Not a lambic in sight. Basically, most beers there were pretty good, with some mild stand-outs and some relatively lackluster ones in the mix, but, in the main, it was mostly down to how nice, informed, and earnest the people at each booth were, and everyone was in a surprisingly good mood, so there's not much to complain about on that front. 

Probably the most radical offering was Cervecería Kaf's Jalapeño amber ale. The ale was relatively young though nicely carbonated, with a sweet creaminess to the malt aroma from the head, and a lightly starchy mouth-feel and distinctive flavor of real hops, complimented very nicely by the tinny acidity, light spiciness, and the signature taste of the infused jalapeño. I tried it mostly for novelty, and came away impressed with the mature balance of flavors and richness of the brew. Nevertheless, I will not be derailed from curmudgeonly critiques. It's official; craft beer is a mainstream market. The road ever-so-slightly-less-traveled, as it were. Hell, the number of people sporting Trilbys the call Fedoras attested to that.

It was not, however, a hash, and it did not escape our notice that NoName Valentina got herself out of a naming through sheer cunning. Now, she's a leaver, claiming she shall return in two hashes' time. We shall see, and we shall act accordingly.


-Your friendly local GM,
Multiple Entry

On on!  

==================================Original Announcement=========================================



OK - So Chilean marketing is, um, 'developing'... I'm sure this does not actually show a girl having a stroke while holding a beer, and the caption does not actually say "Drink beer and live less..."

Je Suis Ennui

January 17th. Seems everyone has left town and it's just us here. Thank goodness for the Santiago Bierfest at Parque Padre Hurtado. That's where we're going on this Martin Luther King birthday, to sample the country's finest beers.
This will be a self-funded hash, meaning that we will meet-up outside the park at 2pm, go for a run/walk, and then go check out the artisanal beer offerings and complimentary food fare inside.

The hash will be free, since we're not buying your beer, but admission to the event is $6750 prepay (*See below for details.) or $6500 at the door. Beer cost is on top of that.

Here's the 6k runners' route on Strava to keep things simple. This time the trail will not be marked, so please check it out here, and if you're not a phone user, print it out or follow those who are.. :)
  The deets:
  • What: Hash #166:
  • When: Saturday January 17th, 2pm. (beat-the-heat time)
  • Where: Parque Padre Hurtado.
  • How Much: free to hash, $6750 prepay or $6500 at the door for entrance to the bierfest. Count on 2000-3000CLP per beer, at ~500cc apiece, and anywhere from 2000-5000CLP for various foods.
    *Keep in mind that the ticketing website is slimy as hell: "$5000" is their advertised ticket price, but after "service charge" and "ticket delivery charge" (at the door), it comes to $13000 for two tickets if you pick them up in Providencia, or 13500 if you pick them up at the door, so $6750 per person...
    You be the judge.
    **When you land on that page, the site "recommends Internet Explorer, or Firefox, but NOT Chrome" regardless of what you're using... It's just shitty '80s programming with no concept of Q/A. Ignore the message and push on.
What to Bring:
  • sunscreen
  • a hat
  • cash
** For the uninitiated
We are a drinking group with a running problem. If that sounds a little de trop, don't worry. It is. We follow hashing traditions, singing songs, drinking beer, and following silly rules. We start with a ~7k run / 4k walk (your choice), then do our circly ritual (which may or may not happen this time), sing some ribald songs, and finally we relax, and eat a little. This time we're expecting 8-12 hashers. Come check it out, or join us next time, in 2 weeks at the Black Rock.


**For those who have never been to this location
 

Parque Padre Hurtado, known to locals alternately by its former name, "Parque Intercomunal de La Reina" is located roughly here, around Francisco Bilbao 8001. It is serviced by the 225, C05, and D11 buses from Tomas Moro (near Metro Los Domonicos). I believe the 225 bus goes there directly from the Metro stop.
Be warned that, of course, the entrance is not at the official address (8105), but on the south side of Bilbao near the corner of Duqueco.
We will be meeting up outside the front gate at 2pm, going for a run/walk, and then enjoying the festivities inside the park. 
You can PM hosts on Facebook or Meetup to get phone numbers so you can call us once there if you have a hard time locating us, but we generally look like this:

and so should not be too hard to spot.