One Small Step in Poo, One Giant Smell for Hashkind...

To be clear, nobody stepped in poo this Saturday at Hash #124: Moon Landing.  Moon Job kindly hosted us on his Las Condes rooftop quincho for a light, fall-weather jaunt.

We started off with some Father Abraham, as is tradition.

Nobody move!  I dropped my diamond encrusted priceless gold watch!  

Little known fact: Richard Simmons has served as an inspirational role model for Kevin throughout the years.   

Then our happy hashers followed the trail around Escuela Militar left by hares Bone Her Parts and Cumming Up For Air.  

"But if my socks were any lower you'd see my weird ankles.  I'm self-conscious, ok??"

Racists go one way, Wizards go another.

Back at the ranch, Hashers relaxed and enjoyed the setting sun's last beautiful rays of warmth.  

"Duck, duck, duck..."

and then we were really fucking cold.

Cumming Up For Air served as our Grand Master for this Hash.  He did a fabulous job yelling "SHUT THE FUCK UP"

"I decree that all Hashers will be seen as equal, regardless of the color of their socks, the speed of their down-down, or the fit of their Hasher Dashery."

leading by example

Then French Polisher stepped in as Religious Advisor.

"Wait I know I've done this before..."

"Ah whativah, I'll jist pace around in circles"

It was Acting Semen's 50th Hash, which means that he joins the Order of the Purple Pukus.  We poured a beer on his head. It was awesome.

Golden Throat graciously invited the group to her awesome Johnny Depp themed costume party afterwards; the only picture of which I have posted here:

Ray and I call this: Upright Planking.

Please remember kids, next Wednesday night is the benefit even for Mariachi Mansturbator.  Come on down to Flan's at 8 to watch a show and get schwastey-faced.  See you there!

Eternally Grateful for the Invention of Dizzy Bat

Hello Hash Fam!  This past Saturday a bunch of you came out to Parque Padre Hurtado in La Reina for the 123rd Hash, which was less of a Hash and more of a beer obstacle course.

OrangeBob Stretchy Pants is ready to go

The first activity was a 3-legged race.  After our rousing warm up activity (which freaked the holy fuck out of the Chileans BBQing nearby), each Hasher found someone that they felt reasonably comfortable touching, and got taped up.

aaaaaand they're OFF!  It's My Lucky Day in front flanked by Majestic Mr. Rogers.  Giant Finish is creeping up from the rear, but Majestic Mr. Rogers has pulled ahead now! What a race ladies and gentlemen!

The inherent difficulty of a 3-legged race was compounded when each team realized that the masking tape wasn't holding!  Three legs were becoming four!  There was some serious "Little Mermaid" style leg duplication that we had going there.

all the talent.

Then our Hashers jogged a lap around the park, past the horses, through the amphitheater, through the woods, and back around for... FLIP CUP.  We have no pictures of flip cup.   Here are some images instead...

The final lap was marked with a Dizzy Bat competition.  For those of you who have never played Dizzy Bat (a surprisingly large number of you!) this is how you play:

1. chug a beer
2. put your head on a bat and spin around

BUTTS

she's a dizzy bat unicorn

3. DON'T TRAMPLE THE BEER!

4. Run a short distance and try not to fall*.  

#winning

Finally everyone collapsed into the grass, sweaty and a little vomity, and ready for the circle.  As it was Canuck Puck's last Santiago hash for a while, he was Religious Adviser.  He was even presented a special, customized shirt to commemorate his time Hashing here in Santiago.   French Polisher served as the Grand Master.

hot Canadian bacon

He looks less like a parrot and more like...

...a Canadian Goose.

The circle was pretty good.  The virgins were well-behaved, and all accused parties took their downdowns like champs.

YOU add a caption

Songstress Texas Hornstar is killin it on the closing hymn.

Finally, the time came to name a dear friend and fellow hasher, Ms. Fabiola.  Welcome to the Hash Family Shuttercock.

I feel like she's done this before.  It looks so natural.

takin it like a pro

After the asado, the night ended at Flannery's (as per usual) where we ate, drank and were merry.  The entire upstairs was reserved for Canuck Puck's despedida, but a rag tag group of karaoke-loving exchange students crashed the party too.

We will miss you Dave! ♥

*very difficult