I'll call this post "A Pleasant Vineyard Hash"

...even though our trip to Casa Marin last Saturday was the biggest shitshow I've seen in recent history.

But I'll get to that.  Let's start at the beginning. We met at Flannery's and climbed on buses.

Dave tricked Martin into getting on the bus too. 

Then French Polisher yelled at us for a while.

"I am important!  I have a microphone and a clipboard!"

Then we got to the Casa Marin winery - which is absolutely beautiful.  Just goddamn beautiful.  It reeks of craftsmanship, and patience, and the attention to detail that you'd need to make great wine.  We were completely out of place.

Then we ran a little bit.  Sewage set the 2km run, which looped around the vineyard once for the walkers, twice for the runners.  

so fucking gorgeous it's disgusting

And then we picked grapes for a little bit.

well...mostly grapes...

If it can't be done with a beer in your hand, it's not worth doing.

action, adventure, stooped posture!

o hai

this is terrifying.

Little known fact: vineyards are where the popular trend "twerking" originated.

best day of her life.

This guy.  Man, he popped up everywhere.  You're picking grapes and all of a sudden BAM.  Camera to the FACE.

And then we took a group picture in a pricker bush.

Our hosts at Casa Marin were kind enough to treat us to a wine tasting.  I don't typically like white wine, but that Sauvinon Blanc they gave us was the tits.

"No ma'am, you can't have the rest of the bottle."

Finally we circled up.  It was a big circle, and a disorganized circle.  60 people + approximately 30 virgins + disobedient hashers + lots of wine and beer before the circle = one big mess.

Most of the Casa Marin promotional footage will need to be used without audio, due to how many times Sump Pump screamed, "shut the fuck UP!"

notice: a) blatant alcohol abuse and b) blatant abuse of hat fashion.

"Now, I'm not saying Hitler was a good guy, but I did admire his hand gestures."

Dave likes his women the way he likes his grapes: by the bucket.

I'm fairly certain Mariachi Mansturbator did not agree to be put in the bucket.

We named these three people.

Muffler Sucker, German Penetrator and Quarter Bouncer.  Welcome to this dysfunctional family. 

Things started devolving.  

SO Annette called us over to eat.  

We finished up the night schwasted, full of meat, covered in grapes, and happy.  Many many thanks to Casa Marin for hosting us, feeding us, and getting us drunk on some of the best wine in Chile.  

Next Hash #122 Saturday 27th April

NAME: #122 - The extra hour sleep Hash

HOST : Bi-Weekly Deposit

HARES:Easy as 1-2-3 and amigos/as

TIME: running starts at 2pm. (note early start!)

ADDRESS:Simon Bolivar 5441 Nuñoa (it is house, not apartment)

BBQ : yes! Bring some food and extra drinks for when the hash beer runs out!

Cost : 3 luca for the hash

Metro : Simon Bolivar.

St. Patty's Day Hash

I would like to share with all of you an old Irish saying:

There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
How in the hell can he drink when he's dead?

This motto was one taken quite seriously by the Hash Fam this past Saturday at Hash #120: The St. Patrick's Day Hash.  Our favorite Irish pub Flannery's hosted us in a large (and rather elegant) green tent; a place we've formerly called, "that gross parking lot out back".  Really, an incredible transformation.

An extra 3 luca got us an awesome green t-shirt.

Casual Leprechaun is casual.

Jig time, time for jigging.

We were lost within the first 30 seconds. 

Michael has a rare disease in which he gets double arm-boners at the sight of a camera.

Once back on track, the green-garbed gang enjoyed a shitty shady jaunt through the rural areas of Providencia and Las Condes.  Hares Scrum On My Face and French Polisher even marked the trail with green chalk - just in case you were running along, having come from your local Irish pub, wearing your green shirt and your green accessories, thinking to yourself, "man, what day is it?"  You could look down, see some green flour, and HOLY HELL IT'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY I FORGOT.

The Bouncing Boobie Brigade

Upon entering a park, the Hashers were greeted with a rare treat - green and orange jello shots!!!  Seriously Mark and Nora, bravoo.  

"hooray for jello shots!" said the crowd.
"I never learned to center a photo!" said the photographer.

Back at Flan's, we had two glorious kegs to drain.  A drop or two of food coloring made the beer even more festive, and turned everyone's mouths a disgusting shade of crack-addict-that-gave-up-dental-hygiene green.  

The circle was surprisingly succinct this week.  All namings were postponed until the next hash, so as to keep the Flannery's artificial grass looking artificial and non-flour-y.  But look how many people came!

such eager little meercats

 Then the post-Hash shenanigans began.

Dick-with-a-'stache.  Someone call Andy Samberg. 

Hot girls always bend over in photos.

The fact that you don't understand static electricity is really working against you here, dog.
 

Hey, Dick-with-a-'stache is catching on!!!  

"Ima slobber yo face"

 

St. Patty's Day is badass.  Pirates are badass.  Therefore, by transitive property, Jack Sparrow is not out of place.

Finally, in addition to the regular Hash ridiculousness, we elected our new Mismanagement Committee for the 2013-2014 season.  Here they are folks...

If anyone wants Hasher Dashery, uh...do that shit.  Also send Jessica Fryman or myself your pics from the Hash if you want them to be included here.  

Ok guys and gals, see you next time.  ON ON!

Camping Hash at Bi-Weekly's (#119)

The Hash goes to the Country!

Last weekend the mighty Santiago hash abandoned it gritty city-slicker image and headed out to the farmland and broccoli fields on the edge of town for a spot of jogging/stumbling, foolin in the pool and even a bit of football!  All of that before the normal hash festivities even began beneath the gum trees at Leonardo's parcela next-door to our very own Bi-Weekly Deposits bean fields!


The hashers line up for the start of the 'race'

a bit of a jog through a lecheria..not sure who smelt worse, hashers or cows..

 A minor navigational mishap occurred while our worthy beermiester was on the sacred-quest of filling the hash beer coolers, which saw him shanghaied into another dimension for the legendary last-weekend-of-summer-holidays traffic snarl, so he wasn't able to make it.   The hash then had break-the-glass and revert to 'Emergency plan B' (B for buy more beer!).

Despite half the hash being out of town on a road trip to La Serena (2 blokes and 10 girls....sounds like you were a bit outnumbered lads!) we managed a half-decent crowd of would-be campers and sometimes runners who managed to muster at (almost) the allotted time and place on a sunny Saturday afternoon.

After the run, straight into the pool for a spot of water polo....



Futbol action..

Then for those with any energy left it was off to the soccer field for 'Chile Vs the Rest' or something like that (not sure what team Scooby-my-doo was on, and i don't think he was either!)
.

The GM decides to take the crocodile for one last ride..

Then it was time for some serious hash business back at the quincho.



Some virgins are inducted into the rituals of the hash

Names are handed out....to the only man who could follow the convoluted directions and actually made it to the hash via the public bus (see it can be done!!)



An Irish gent is born again as a Leprechaun

Then a sad farewell to two stalwarts of the hash....our lovely songmistress and the somewhat technologically challenged hashflash...




Dominasstrix and Full Service Bid us farewell in fine hash style and are inducted into... something or other..

After this it got really messy.....The hash decamped from the lush surrounds of Leo's parcela to the more 'earthy' delights of the selected campsite up the road.  Before long a fire was lit, 10 local dogs were adopted and the serious business of knocking off 5 or 6 bottles of wine and anything else vaguely alcoholic we could lay our hands on was commenced...

happy campers relaxing (or passing out?)  by the fire

bi-weekly deposit ties to fit something where it just won't go!

The RA shares some of his wisdom with a fireside oratory..

inspired by the Reggaeton playing next door, the campers break loose!

And finally the GM attempts to relieve some sore heads the next day with a traditional big-breakfast cookup!



Red Dress Run 2013!!

Red Dressed Hordes Overrun Santiago!

Hashers are normally a shy breed but on the Saturday after Valentine's, caution was thrown to the wind, second-hand stores were ransacked for anthing vaguely roja vestido and the fine gentlemen and ladies of the Santiago Hash House Harriers were kitted out in all thier glory for the 2013 RED DRESS RUN!!

The pack were given  their instructions by our charming (if initialy reluctant) hosts and the were off for a jaunt through centro, much to the delight of the bemused, confused and abused (ing?) locals who regaled us with their usual cheers of encouragement, tooting of horn and jolly exhortations to run faster and harder (well that is at least what i think they were saying...) for the great cause of international  hashing  (and cross-dressing obviously).


"just cause i'm wearing a dress doesn't mean i can't scratch ..."

 

 

"What the???"

 

The runners made a mad dash through centro and some parks, got lost several times, as is their custom and generally ran amok through the smooching teenagers and maurading street dogs to eventually meet up with the runners somewhere near the home of all things crazy in downtown Santiago, plaza italia.  

 

 



some were wearing their red dresses on the inside.....

 

Arriving back at our hosts fine roof top quicho  (the adjacent pool quickly emptied of children by  thier nervous parents who where somewhat intimidated by 45 hashers in red dresses for some reason...), our sterling piss-pourer then lined up a mighty table-full of foamy lager and the festivities began!

True to form the RA joined in the celebration with much style and enthusiasm!



"on your knees and repeat after me...."

There were of course some hash-names to be handed out (anybody remember what they where??...i remember something about free-willies and daddybaters but after that is is all a blur.....)
and some visitors showed us the importance of matching your outfits....

not sure what's going on 'downstairs' there on the left but...

and the lads demonstrated how exactly a frock should  be worn...

After the circle it was time to cool off in the pool with 'cumming up for air' demonstrating his best stripper swirl....

No hash would be complete without a trip to flannery's to belt out a few karaoke tunes....sump pump, you did us proud!

Don't for get it is all on again next Saturday 2nd March at Bi-weekly Deposit's parcela for a camping hash and then back to Flannery's (where else?) for the All Green St. Patrick's day hash on 16th March!

On On.

 

Next Hash #118 - Saturday 16th Feb 2013

HASH Nº 118 - Red Dress Run 2013

DATE: Saturday, February 16th

TIME: 5 PM (Note: New Temporary cause-you-all-think-it-is-too-hot super summer time!)

PLACE: 353 Santa Isabel (two blocks west of Portugal)

METRO: Santa Isabel

HOST:. ‘Just Eric’

HARES: Easy-as-123, 'Just Eric'

COST: $3000

AFTER: Asado. Bring your own cutlery, drinks, salads and meat to share.