Santiago Hash House Harriers

Sunday 28 July 2013

Have a hottie naughty Christmas! It's the breast time of the year!

Last weekend on July 20th was the Christmas in July Hash hosted by the Black Rock Pub. It was also my despedida! That was sad. But it was a great day!

Sir Sump Pump thought that if he put a light-up dog collar on me it would keep me in line.

"You will be a beacon of light and hope for all dogs in Santiago."

But he was wrong.

You there! I demand that you shake it like a Polaroid picture!

The pre-run circle was normal (by Hash standards)...

"Ok gang. How do we feel about Roberto?"

"We like him!"

Then the run! Hares Octopussy, Quarter Bouncer and French Polisher led the group on a trail north of the Mapocho and...through the sculpture park.

wait...oh no...oh SWEET JESUS

THEY'RE ESCAPING

The trail brought us to a beer stop (yay!), which was actually a delicious-holiday-jello-shot stop.

The phrase "never accept candy from strangers" comes to mind.

In exchange for taking our picture, we gave a group of underage kids extra jello shots. Then we were all like, "hell yeah tell your friends. We're better then hobos that will go into the liquor store for you."

Sir Sump Pump forgets that Superman isn't Canadian. Bruce and Bi-Weekly Deposit forget they are not Power Rangers. And Roberto forgets he is not MC Hammer.

Then...off we went again.

The jello shots haven't worn off yet.

I feel like the jello shots are irrelevant in this photo.

Back at the Black Rock, we started up the circle. I was forced to sit in the middle and take a down-down with everyone. (awesome)

"ah well if you twist my arm..."

There were prizes for the most creative Christmas outfit and ugliest sweater.

KY Not: "Actually, moonlighting at a Cafe con Piernas is great!"
Come Swim With Me: "Yeah! Wanna see some of our moves?"

Hand-stitched holiday sweater trivia game. No sarcasm here - that was cool.

There was also a secret Santa.

"Ok everybody, let's make a line to sit on my lap. Otherwise it's too disorganized."
"Uh Sir Sump Pump? that's not how a Secret Santa works..."

And of course, gratuitous drinking.

Slap this man's face on an Escudo billboard, he looks so damn happy

knees bent, heels down, back straight...good form!

My taste buds are having an awakening.

Finally I, Easy As 123, am proud to say that I was welcomed into The Order of the Purple Pukus. My...ahem...less than dignified inauguration is captured in this next series of photos.

I have brought shame to my family.

After the circle, we had a DELICIOUS Christmas dinner, completely with turkey, ceviche, all the sides and toppings and wine and holy crap I am salivating just thinking about it.

I don't know what's happening here because by this point I was wasted.

I didn't go to Flannery's because I went home because I was wasted.

All in all it was a wonderful Hash. A big thanks to the Black Rock for hosting us and putting on such a delicious meal, and to French Polisher and Co. for organizing the events.

A special good bye note to all of you Hashers:

You are some of the coolest people I've ever met. Stay weird, stay in touch, and ON ON ♥

-Easy As 123

Hash #129 - Saturday 3rd August

Hashers!

For those of you who survived the gorge-fest what was the all-singing-all dancing Christmas In July hash, we are regouping for another round of winter wonderland fun in Vitacura at the fine apartment of ‘Multiple Entry’ and Alex who have promised to cook up a storm to chase away the winter chills.

So join us for a stroll around the leafy Vitacura backstreets and a song or two followed by some choice fine ales next weekend!

HASH Nº 129 - Viva Vitacura Hash

DATE: Saturday, August 3rd

TIME: 2 PM (so get there on time!)

PLACE: Paseo Lo Matta 1311, Vitacura (just across the freeway from Alto Las Condes mall)

MAP: Paseo Lo Matta 1311

METRO: not really near the metro but bus C11, C03, C15 or 416e. So many options!

HOST: Multiple Entry and “Just Alex”

HARES: Bookofwhoremoans and Multiple Entry?

COST: $3000

AFTER: NO Asado this time! Bring picnic style food to share, empandas, soup, ready to eat or easy-to-heat up stuff! (and maybe some drinks for after the hash beer runs out..).

Tuesday 9 July 2013

We Declare Independence From Sobriety!

Oh say can you swig
From the beer's foaming head?
What so proudly we chug,
'Til we fall into bed.

This past Saturday was Hash #127, the Independence Day Hash, hosted by Billy Scroat Gruff near the Santa Isabel metro stop. It was a chilly day, but not a terrible one for hashing. No day is a terrible day for hashing after all...

The runners convened around 2pm, sang a rousing rendition of Father Abraham, and dashed off into the cloudy, dog poo-strewn streets of Santiago Centro.

clapping is the BEST

Hares Billy Scroat Gruff, Easy As 123, and No-Name-Virgin-Charlie led the hashers on a heart-pumping hike up Santa Lucia, through Parque Forrestal and back through the Baquedano/Bustamante area.

I'm Manuel Baquedano, and I approved this message.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Easy As 123 served as the Grand Master for the afternoon, with Sump Pump resuming his previous post as Religious Advisor.

This picture represents much of my experience as an English Teacher. Including the beer.

Gotta fart gotta fart gotta fart

ohhhhhyeaeaaaaahhhhh that's a winner

Something...smells...familiar...

I will now draw your attention to our host, who seems to be singing an 80's rock ballad by himself in the next series of photos.

"Don't stop, belieeeeevin'"

"hold on to that feeeeeelin, ohh"

The highlight of the day was most definitely the naming. Jessica and Jeff let loose in oh, so many ways.

"I think we should take our shirts off!"

"I was bisexual in college!"

Jeff: "ok honey, I think that's plenty"
Jessica: "no they need more material!"

"We've had orgies, and I like anime porn, especially with octopi!"

That. was. plenty.

Please welcome Splooge Bob Stain Pants and Octopussy to the Hash Family.

Finally, did you see Sump Pump's baller new hoodie?

stylish from behind. tee hee double entendre

That's right! If you ordered a Hash Hoodie they are printed and ready for pickup! Come to the next Hash, or email us to come get yours!

Next time we will be celebrating Christmas in July at the Black Rock Pub...get your ugly sweater on on!

Monday 24 June 2013

Seaside Shenanigans

Hash #126 took us yet again to the beautiful beach town of El Quisco for a lovely day of smog-free debauchery.

We loaded up our "Party Bus" at the crack of 11... err noon (thanks to a few gringos who have overly assimilated to Chilean culture), and made our way to Sump Pump's fantastic seaside abode. Sir Sump Pump, Finger in the Dyke, and their army of dogs set a Shitty Trail winding through the hills (damn the hills), rocks and more hill type things. During the chalk talk, this puppy (who still needs a home I understand) demonstrated less about how to follow the trail and more about how to eat it.

Bone Her Parts is both bored and appalled

The runner's, led by Moon Job and Book of Hormones, lost the trail within the first ten minutes, found it, and then realized that seagull shit is not in fact flour and that we were in fact still lost. Eventually, we figured it out and were on our way....

Flour or Poo? I'm not gonna taste it... you taste it...

To the Beer Stop.....

Beer is SOO near.

Or not... FAKE OUT.... sad hashers

"I long to be.... Close... to ... Brew..."

When we arrived at the actual beer stop, there was much rejoicing, multiple thumbs ups, and some interpretive dance lead by Turtlehead.

Back at home, we began what would turn into the World's Longest Circle. Cummming Up for Air acted as GM while Sir Sump Pump resumed his role as Religious Advisor in French Polisher's absence. To celebrate both Sir Ladybug's 70 th Hash (Get a life.. Get a life... Get a life life life) and Bone Her Parts' final Hash before returning to the Sunshine State, both of them earned VIP seats in the mushpot of the circle, along with down downs to accompany every virgin, sinner and loudmouth that earned one throughout the night.

Before long, the circle slipped into it's usual unruly state of disaster, and Turtlehead took on the all important job of the guy that yells variations of "Shut the Fuck up" every few seconds. Side note, remember the last time we were here and Turtlehead did this:

We like you better like this... Fully clothed and in this country.

Seriously, this circle was just chalked full of stupid, but then in a moment of clarity, someone (or a lot of someones) realized that Basani was wearing new shoes.

SHAME!!!!

And then somehow it was decreed that her punishment would be doled out to our VIPs. Ladybug took it (or wore it) like a champ, while Bone Her Parts gave everyone the finger with her mind.

Things continued to unravel...

And meanwhile....

When it finally came time for the namings, one of the three, in a true display of hash appropriate behavior was nowhere to be found (and was later carried onto the bus). Sump Pump shared his stage with Book of Hormones, and after a few stories that somehow all seemed to center around sexual sadness in cold weather/water, we officially welcomed Frozen Nuts and Thermal Do Me into the Hash family.