Hash #169 - We meet again, Mr Bond!

Saturday Feb, 28th: It's the last day in February 3 out of every 4 years! Once again we find ourselves at the Black Rock Pub this coming Saturday, as it went so swimmingly last time. It's the 61st anniversary of the discovery of the double-helix by Crick & Watson, too, so there's that. Here's a little primer. There will be a quiz!

Also, there's the distinct possibility that the notorious Sir Ladybug will be paying us a visit. Until recently, Sir Ladybug held the dubious distinction of being the most dedicated hasher in Santiago, alas recently surpassed by Mariachi Mansterbtor and Sir Acting Semen. We meet again, Sir Ladybug.


Join us for a trail (hared by who-knows who!) and indulge in the most Pythonesque après-ski  in town (hosted by a real live Australian).

The deets:

• What: Hash #169:
• When: Saturday February 28th, 2pm. (beat-the-heat time)
• Where: The Black Rock Pub.
• How Much: 5000CLP for the Hash. There may be a special, attractively priced Hasher's menu offered in the 3000-3500CLP range.

What to Bring:

• sunscreen
• a hat
• cash
• tall stories about your time eating snakes in the Outback or defeating super-villains.

** For the uninitiated
We are a drinking group with a running problem. If that sounds a little de trop, don't worry. It is. We follow hashing traditions, singing songs, drinking beer, and following silly rules. We start with a ~7k run / 4k walk (your choice), then do our circly ritual (which may or may not happen this time), sing some ribald songs, and finally we relax, and eat a little. This time we're expecting 8-12 hashers. Come check it out, or join us next time, in 2 weeks.

Hash #168 - The Fish Out of Water Hash!

This week's hash falls on the 96th anniversary of those little brown devils, UPS, and the 94th anniversary of the Canadian nickel! - Oh yeah - and St Valentine's Day too. There's good reason to get that HIIT in during the day, so you'll be in fine fettle to fraternize with the fantastic femmes fatales out at the Shamrock later, who will be lovingly ministered to behind closed doors until midnight, when the gates will open to (they hope) hordes of salivating troglodytes ready to take what comes! The classy event is called "Fish in a Barrel", but watch out, dear reader, as often in cases like this, before you know it, the hunters become the hunted...

 

  This is a picture of a preacher. It seemed appropriate at this time.

We're celebrating this 167th Hash with a trail lovingly hared  by the evil Sir Turtle Head and the amazingly tolerant Bushy Pussy.

 

...Here's the deets:

• What: Hash #168 - The Fish Out of Water Hash!
• When: Saturday, February 14th, 2015. 2:00PM
• Where: End of Camino La Dehesa. 
• How Much: $4.000 gets you in, gets you beer and a couple of hot-dogs.
• What to Bring:
  - food (that doesn't need cooking, or can be boiled)
  - extra libations (why not some Elijah Craig Cask Barrel Proof? - I mean' there's his picture again)
  - extra carrying capacity, as in room in a backpack or what have you. Getting up the hill will be a cooperative effort. Each person will need to carry the equivalent of about 4lb of stuff (or, if you prefer, 4lb=2000cc=8 beers worth - a better hashing unit of weight)
  - sunblock
  - water
  - spare socks? (lots of stickers on trail)
• How to find it: Take the C16 bus to the end of the line. We will assemble at the bus stop, corner of La Dehesa & Paseo Pie Andino, at 2pm sharp and walk up from there carrying beers & everything. It's a 3.5km walk from the bus stop to the site, so be prepared to haul some stuff and bring a backpack with room for a six-pack or two, please. We're counting on you, hashers!

We go to the site here:

Here we can see the evil Sir Turtle Head in his natural habitat...

…circle up, and start our trail, ending up right here once again. It's about 4k for the wankers and 8k for the runners. It's a beautiful, pastoral trail:

 The route goes roughly like this:

• We meet at the bus-stop, and walk up to the trail head all together
• Circle up, introductions, and we're off..., going 4km to our hashing site.
• You can run, or you can carry stuff.
• The real circle then happens.

There's details on Meetup, if you need to direct folks there, but they point right back here.
Please remember it's imperative to be on time. The trailhead has many possible paths, so finding the right one requires a little experience, and the walk up is a freaking mountain-bike freeway, so all markings are liable to get erased. Luckily, amateur sherpa Sir Turtle Head will be there to guide us.


** For the uninitiated:
We are a drinking group with a running problem. If that sounds a little de trop, don't worry. It is. We follow hashing traditions, singing songs, drinking beer, and following silly rules. We start with a ~7k run / 4k walk (your choice), then do our circly ritual, sing some ribald songs, and finally we relax, and eat a little. This time we're expecting 10-20 hashers. Come check it out, or join us next time, in 2 weeks.

It's All About Community

The first time I hashed was quite an eye-opener. After finding out about it while looking for activities to expand my horizons abroad, where cultural norms can sometimes feel a little stifling owing to the expectations I brought from the homeland, I suddenly found myself surrounded by people who shared many values that were often met with a frustratingly deadpan incomprehension by locals.

 In a beautiful vineyard, after a very fun trail, a charmingly shitfaced RA grimaced the other way as he sprayed some insecticide into a cloud of bees hovering over a barrel of grapes we would soon be stomping, while he boomed some tripe about virgins having to pay their dues. I was sold.

The most amazing thing about that experience for me was the trust and camaraderie that permeated the event. No one needed to keep an eye out worrying about when someone would run off with their back-pack. Topics of conversation ranged from the mundane to the edgy with a fluid comfort that I had not seen in a while. Old hands exchanged an easy banter while making an effort to be inclusive of visitors and new arrivals. It just felt like community.

There's no question that hashing is not for everyone. The encouraged silliness can easily grate on people, and there is a carefully orchestrated level of dropping inhibitions through drinking, song, silliness, and shared experience, that helps hashers open up, while it can definitely be off-putting to those who depend on a level of straight-laced propriety to feel safe.

In the interest of keeping our kennel thriving, we just ran a survey of the SHHH membership to see what it is about hashing that people really like, and how we can improve our events programming. Admittedly, ours is a small kennel; six of the twelve jobs that make a hash run are done by a single person at this point, so the ability to organize anything with a level of complexity is limited, but we try. The survey was also run during the lowest part of the season, when many local hashers are away, so that may introduce some bias, as it collected answers from a very small sample of mostly die-hard hashers. The results are interesting, though. It seems I am not alone in what I value.

Without further preamble ramble, here's how hashers responded:

After all is said and done, a week before a hash, about 1/3 of the people who know about the hash plan on attending. Keeping in mind the number of people reached who are geographically dispersed at this point in the season, this number indicates a very committed bunch. Once people become hashers, it would seem, they make time for the hash, leaving their loved ones to worry what sort of cult this is they have joined. "Have you heard the one about the Jonestown Massacre? No? - Nevermind: the punch line is too long"...

Word of mouth, our Facebook group, and direct mail seem to carry the day, hinting at the antediluvian demographic skew of our regular membership. Of course, keep in mind that Facebook and direct mail were the two ways the poll was announced...

By a margin of nearly two to one, friendship and camaraderie carry the day as the reasons people say they like to hash. Of course again that could be blamed on the fact that so many of the respondents are stranded in this exotic metropolis so far away from their loved ones, but that is a very significant part of hasher culture. If we add Expat Culture and Mingling into the equation, most people who come to the hash are not there to hash as such. Thank God for the small cadre of stalwarts who preserve the tradition that makes the gathering what it is, no?

Interestingly, hashers are not the tight-wads one might think. However, an important part of hashing is accessibility, and many a stranded foreigner has shown up at our door jobless and barely able to afford a US$5 admission fee, so we believe that even though most hashers are flush with cash, there should always be an event that welcomes new arrivals of modest means. Particularly in cultures where empathy is not a widely practiced sentiment, this is one of the aspects that bonds people to the hash.

Everyone loves a field-trip. Not everyone can manage one. No one likes to be left behind. Duly noted.

What our dedicated respondents seem to be saying is pretty clear: the hash is, overwhelmingly, a social event abut enjoying some time with like-minded people. Inclusiveness and variety in the activities seem to be valued as well. Beer and the trail, along with the circle, are more polarizing, but, of course, they are the very heart of the Hash. Good: proper hash behavior.


-Your friendly local GM,
Multiple Entry

On on!

Hash #167 - Back in Black!

It was inspirational.

Such a nice, tranquil courtyard at The Black Rock, suitable for the opening scenes of a Parisian thriller, where everyone is just enjoying the sun with cosmopolitan smugness, oblivious to the tempest about to unfold!

Usually, people forgo telling you to keep calm unless there's something going on that fully merits blowing a gasket. Here, Sir Turtle-Head, wearing a 'Keep Calm' shirt, is practicing his new gesture. He's learning to say 'hello' in Swiss German. This quickly spiraled out of control, and led to some misunderstandings, a broken heart, and a small pregnancy scare. In the end, it all turned out just fine, though.

Most hashers mingle oblivious to the treachery underfoot while our intrepid Hash Flash, Maxipad (with Wings) - locates the first hidden camera.

 But it would seem there's not that much to worry about: the spy running the video-surveillance operation is clearly starting to feel the effects of the mirth, as we can see from the deteriorating focus. Here, Eat my Whalie is once again defending her position that baby whales are the tastiest meat and should be enjoyed in that capacity at every available opportunity, preferably eaten alive, like oysters.

 These guys showed up with an attitude, but once they got into the swing of things, they were as much fun as anyone else. They couldn't help it. They tried to look menacing, but Dick So Soft lost his focus when he noticed Multiple Entry's untied shoelace.

 Oh, it's on, motherfuckers! Maxipad(with Wings) has found yet another spy-camera, and now he's on the trail. He won't rest until he gets to the bottom of this! Notice Lame Judy Stank looking a little guilty and clutching a second beer in her wanking hand as the intrusion is discovered. The guys in sunglasses are trying to blend in and get close, seconds before the arrest. This may be a clue.

As we prepared for the circle, Dick So Soft demonstrated the strength of his Jedi powers by drinking and getting refills with his eyes closed. His new theory was that if you don't see the beer, it can't make you drunk. Shits & Swallows is scouting for another girl to complete the picture with that cup. Vini V.D. is intrigued and thinks he might be a lesbian, while Eat My Whalie, from a long tradition of pagan rituals, bows down to the unfolding bacchanal and is sure that if she'd only made it through book 4 of Knausgård, she would have been better prepared for what's developing here. 

You may remember that at the Christmas Beach Hash Bi-weekly Deposit suffered a serious injury in the line of duty, run-over by no less than a cart laden with the very fuel of the Hash, brew.

 Well, Service Guarantees Citizenship! Congratulations, Sir Bi-weekly Deposit! In a poignant but comfortably brief ceremony, Spoodgebob Stainpants conferred the title of Knight of the Hash on Bi-weekly Deposit for either valor or clumsiness in the line of duty - we're never sure about this nuance in the hash - by inducting him into the Order of the Purple Shart.

 Some time passed, some brew flowed, and the next thing you know it's turning into the Back in Blackout Hash... All in good fun & among friends; no harm, no foul. 

 Here we have Likk'Em, our spy from Switzerland, living up to his name. NoName Cicilia tries to join in as Maxipad (with Wings) protects her virtue at the last moment!

Noname Daniel is pretty damned proud that he finally managed to get his sunglasses to stay in his shirt like that. After practicing for a while and finally getting it down, Sir Turtle head demonstrates how to say 'hello' in Swiss German, as taught to him earlier by Likk'em. Maxipad(with Wings) is just making sure everything is under control.

Bushy Pussy has infinite patience. That is all.

Spoodgebob Stainpants is looking a little peeked after performing that intense ceremony bestowing the Purple Shart on Sir Bi-weekly Deposit, but he's playing it cool. He knows that if Sleeping Beauty, Maxipad(with Wings), or especially Eat my Whalie smell blood in the water, it could all be over in mere seconds.

On the left, Mark and MariCarmen, two of our virgins, are holding up really well and starting to see the humor in this, while Strip, Minor!, Multiple Entry, Maxipad(with Wings), and No Cuntry for Old Men are mostly confused about whether to do a duckface (seriously or ironically), smile, or look 'bad-ass' for the picture. Takes all kinds...

All in all, it was a fine hash. We made some new friends, had some great conversations, and learned a few things along the way. Sir Turtle-Head learned to wave hello in Swiss, and Bi-weekly Deposit became Sir Bi-weekly Deposit.

Thanks again to everyone who helped pull this off! Maxipad(with Wings) really put the elbow-grease back into Hash-Flashing (and took some great pictures, too). Bushy Pussy poured piss again. A saint. Lame Judy Stank, but she laid a great trail and told a wonderful story about discovering lighters in the strangest places. The Black Rock was perfect. Shane and Sol were kind enough to make us a great menu of gas-grilled organic South American free-range mountain chicken with fair-trade domesticated Thai Jasmine rice imported via reed-rafts, and a garden-fresh salad of autochthonous berries on a bed of wild greens, in addition to pouring a great deal of delicious Stella and putting up with our slurred off-key shenanigans for many hours. It didn't even seem to bother them, or Hugo, in the least!

Stay tuned. Summertime is not over and there might be some more fun stuff coming up!

-Your friendly local GM,
Multiple Entry

On on!

===============================Original Announcement========================

 Anyone up for a pint with Angus?

It's been a busy week in Australia, what with Foundation Day, Anniversary Day, Survival Day, Invasion Day, and Day of Mourning celebrations - and that was just Monday!

Saturday, January 31st come celebrate the return of the Hash to the Black Rock, the finest Australian pub in Santiago. Join us for a trail (hared by a real live Australian) and indulge in the most Pythonesque après-ski  in town (hosted by a real live Australian). Hell, if you can down it with the best of them, one day you could be Prime Minister!

The deets:

• What: Hash #167:
• When: Saturday January 31st, 2pm. (beat-the-heat time)
• Where: The Black Rock Pub.
• How Much: 5000CLP for the Hash. There may be a special, attractively priced Hasher's menu offered in the 3000-3500CLP range.

What to Bring:

• sunscreen
• a hat
• cash
• tall stories about your time eating snakes in the Outback.

** For the uninitiated
We are a drinking group with a running problem. If that sounds a little de trop, don't worry. It is. We follow hashing traditions, singing songs, drinking beer, and following silly rules. We start with a ~7k run / 4k walk (your choice), then do our circly ritual (which may or may not happen this time), sing some ribald songs, and finally we relax, and eat a little. This time we're expecting 8-12 hashers. Come check it out, or join us next time, in 2 weeks on Valentine's Day.

Hash #166 - The ArtIsAnal Beer Hash...

Hash #166 - ArtIsAnal Beer Hash:

There's no denying that, as science teaches us, alcohol is a solution. A small but dedicated group of hashers met up at the gate on Saturday, but the gate was not the entrance. After acting like it was an issue for a few minutes, the brave group decided that the full uphill 100m walk from the main entrance to the Bierfest entrance was pretty much the same as a 7k run, so that's what we did.

At the gate we gladly ponied up 6,500 CLP for the privilege of entering the premises to spend money on beer.  Which we did. In copious amounts. But the strange and unusual part about this is that, in that crowd, we, the hashers, were the moderates, the teetotalers, as it were, because these people were here to slake a neverending thirst.

Selfe-sticks were, of course, the faddish item of the day, and people were wielding them with varying degrees of half-mind pride and skill.

 It wasn't long before the spirit of comradeship wafted over the lot like a San Francisco summer fog, and everyone was getting in on the selfie action, stick or no.

 In short order, hashers started acting all lovey-dubby, and cooing sweet nothings at each other, while, of course, sucking down beers faster than a '50s Cadillac pulling a trailer up a mountain.

 Some hashers even seemed alarmed. There's no telling whether it was because there was not enough beer, or too much. Others took it all more in stride...

 Pretty soon, things were getting awesome, or so it seemed. Beer may have had something to do with it, but everyone clearly thought the bass player was all-right.

Revelers with very small green hats jumped up and started dancing...

 ...seems everyone had had a couple by now.

 ..and that musician was even getting his hair to do the rock 'n roll swing

 "I love you, buddy"

 ...flying chairs - a sure sign of excessive consumption

 ...and people in big-ass sombreros cracking up at the flying chairs floating past.

 We even saw a selfie-stick accident or two. Those things can seem unwieldy after a few.

 but it was all taken in the proper spirit, as a joke and nothing more.

Final analysis: it was fun attending a promotional event to sample several craft beers simultaneously. As can be expected, edginess in a conformist culture amounts to copying that and not this, and the beers on offer reflected this instinct to comply. There were reds, pale ales, and stouts without a great deal of variation among them. There was a good deal of raspberry. Not a lambic in sight. Basically, most beers there were pretty good, with some mild stand-outs and some relatively lackluster ones in the mix, but, in the main, it was mostly down to how nice, informed, and earnest the people at each booth were, and everyone was in a surprisingly good mood, so there's not much to complain about on that front. 

Probably the most radical offering was Cervecería Kaf's Jalapeño amber ale. The ale was relatively young though nicely carbonated, with a sweet creaminess to the malt aroma from the head, and a lightly starchy mouth-feel and distinctive flavor of real hops, complimented very nicely by the tinny acidity, light spiciness, and the signature taste of the infused jalapeño. I tried it mostly for novelty, and came away impressed with the mature balance of flavors and richness of the brew. Nevertheless, I will not be derailed from curmudgeonly critiques. It's official; craft beer is a mainstream market. The road ever-so-slightly-less-traveled, as it were. Hell, the number of people sporting Trilbys the call Fedoras attested to that.

It was not, however, a hash, and it did not escape our notice that NoName Valentina got herself out of a naming through sheer cunning. Now, she's a leaver, claiming she shall return in two hashes' time. We shall see, and we shall act accordingly.


-Your friendly local GM,
Multiple Entry

On on!  

==================================Original Announcement=========================================

OK - So Chilean marketing is, um, 'developing'... I'm sure this does not actually show a girl having a stroke while holding a beer, and the caption does not actually say "Drink beer and live less..."

Je Suis Ennui

January 17th. Seems everyone has left town and it's just us here. Thank goodness for the Santiago Bierfest at Parque Padre Hurtado. That's where we're going on this Martin Luther King birthday, to sample the country's finest beers.

This will be a self-funded hash, meaning that we will meet-up outside the park at 2pm, go for a run/walk, and then go check out the artisanal beer offerings and complimentary food fare inside.

The hash will be free, since we're not buying your beer, but admission to the event is $6750 prepay (*See below for details.) or $6500 at the door. Beer cost is on top of that.

Here's the 6k runners' route on Strava to keep things simple. This time the trail will not be marked, so please check it out here, and if you're not a phone user, print it out or follow those who are.. :)

  The deets:

• What: Hash #166:
• When: Saturday January 17th, 2pm. (beat-the-heat time)
• Where: Parque Padre Hurtado.
• How Much: free to hash, $6750 prepay or $6500 at the door for entrance to the bierfest. Count on 2000-3000CLP per beer, at ~500cc apiece, and anywhere from 2000-5000CLP for various foods.
  *Keep in mind that the ticketing website is slimy as hell: "$5000" is their advertised ticket price, but after "service charge" and "ticket delivery charge" (at the door), it comes to $13000 for two tickets if you pick them up in Providencia, or 13500 if you pick them up at the door, so $6750 per person... You be the judge.
  **When you land on that page, the site "recommends Internet Explorer, or Firefox, but NOT Chrome" regardless of what you're using... It's just shitty '80s programming with no concept of Q/A. Ignore the message and push on.

What to Bring:

• sunscreen
• a hat
• cash

** For the uninitiated
We are a drinking group with a running problem. If that sounds a little de trop, don't worry. It is. We follow hashing traditions, singing songs, drinking beer, and following silly rules. We start with a ~7k run / 4k walk (your choice), then do our circly ritual (which may or may not happen this time), sing some ribald songs, and finally we relax, and eat a little. This time we're expecting 8-12 hashers. Come check it out, or join us next time, in 2 weeks at the Black Rock.


**For those who have never been to this location 
Parque Padre Hurtado, known to locals alternately by its former name, "Parque Intercomunal de La Reina" is located roughly here, around Francisco Bilbao 8001. It is serviced by the 225, C05, and D11 buses from Tomas Moro (near Metro Los Domonicos). I believe the 225 bus goes there directly from the Metro stop.
Be warned that, of course, the entrance is not at the official address (8105), but on the south side of Bilbao near the corner of Duqueco.

We will be meeting up outside the front gate at 2pm, going for a run/walk, and then enjoying the festivities inside the park. 

You can PM hosts on Facebook or Meetup to get phone numbers so you can call us once there if you have a hard time locating us, but we generally look like this:

and so should not be too hard to spot.

Hash #165 - The Hangover Hush

A small, friendly hash, 165 saw the return of Sewage & Sir Sump Pump to Santiago, as well as a couple of new faces. The excellent trail, laid by the challenging, yet paternal Multiple Entry and gentle No Cuntry, was, as you can see, not the most grueling. Still, it was a very hot day, and even though the run started near 6pm, the temperatures were over 90, making some hashers quite cranky. Nothing a few cold beers later on would not fix.

Once back at hash-central, people mellowed quickly under the spell of cold brews on a hot summer's day.

Here we have NoName Becca (a virgin no more), Sir Sump Pump, and Sewage cooling off after the grueling trail.

A very considerate circle ensued, that saw the introduction of no less than three virgins to the Hash, and two namings! Owing to a lapse in memory, No-name Gonzalo returned for his fifth hash, so we rewarded him by trying to make cake on his head and christening him One-Eyed Monster!. No-name Linni, on the other hand, might have known better. Not one easily frightened by such displays, she charged in and took it like a man. Welcome as well, Eat My Wahlie!

United by adversity, our newest named hashers: Welcome, One-eyed Monster and Eat My Whalie.

In any case, it's pretty smart to get yourself named at a small hash with house-made basil & mushroom pizza made by the world-class foodie Multiple Entry, and a shower! Good thinking, guys!

A special thanks to Tokoloshe for exposing himself as Hash-Flash this time. He's a wily one, that Tokoloshe. As the single lone runner this day, he was both front-running bastard and immune to accusations of sins from the run. Very clever... 

As usual, our gratitude goes out as well to Bi-Weekly Deposit for taking the time out of his busy schedule to Meister our beer despite not being able to attend. The hash is in your debt, sir!

-Your friendly local GM,
Multiple Entry

On on! =============================Original Announcement============================

Dammit!

January 3rd. So quiet. So much regret so early in the year. Regaining your senses after a little bit too much revelry perhaps? Let's make this an intimate little affair in a small Vitacura pied-à-terre. A run. Yes, of course. And beer, and pizza. And a very small celebration - so much to celebrate, as always, what with the arrest of Joane of Arc on Jan 3rd 1431, the excommunication of Martin Luther on this day in 1531, the naming of San Francisco, CA in 1847, the excommunication of Cuba in 1961, and the founding of Apple computer in 1977.

Still, 3 days into the year, gentle reader, you may be feeling that you regret everything:

Not to worry! There is no redemption without temptation! So come for a little run, a beer, and silliness that would bore a jaded 5th-grader!

There will be simple home-made pizza, a little beer, and an indoor circle. We might be having a naming or two, and we're celebrating Sir Sump Pump's 80th & Maxipad w. Wings' 25th.

The trail may be live, and will certainly be short, as we're expecting a pretty warm day.

The deets:

• What: Hash #165:
• When: Saturday January 3rd, 5pm.
• Where: Paseo Lo Matta 1311 #303.
• How Much: $4.000 and the secret password gets you in, gets you beer and pizza.

What to Bring:

• extra food (cocktail food, food for vegetarians, anything that strikes your fancy & does NOT require a grill)
• extra libations (particularly if you're of the non-alcoholic persuasion: "We don't judge.")- Sunscreen? It will be well into the '90s...

How to find it: Get your directions from Google Maps here. It's quite accessible. Buses 406, 426, 411, 405, and 502 will get you there.